Always
by Razzledazzy
Summary: Arthur confronts Alfred about the strange way he's been acting after a world meeting one day. USUK, T for self harm and angst!America.  Human and Country names used.


**AN**

* * *

><p>Alright I have to write this one shot. Recession!America has to be different from Regular!America, so shiz is about to get real. Inspired by current world situations. (Had this idea before Osama died so we are just going to ignore that, maybe.)<p>

I would put warnings up but eh~ It would give away some of the story.

P.S. First Guy x Guy story ever. Hope I did alright.

* * *

><p><strong>~HETALIA~<strong>

* * *

><p>England sipped his tea, pondering the thing that had often been plaguing his thoughts around the clock.<p>

Alfred.

Arthur couldn't place a finger on it, but the hyper nation had been different in the past few weeks. Actually, the bushy eye browed man had really started to notice the difference about a year or so ago. Sure America still had his ludicrous ideas, and he still proclaimed himself leader at all of the world meetings, but something was different.

It worried Arthur.

Lately America had been quieter; his smiles seemed forced, and they never quite reached his eyes. His deep blue eyes were constantly clouded over with emotions and thoughts the Brit couldn't guess to save his life. Times were hard, he knew that much, but this was America! Nothing fazed him. Bloody hell, he had even been hyper during the Great Depression.

Another thing that Arthur had noticed was that America had suddenly stopped eating all the time. In fact Arthur couldn't recall the last time he had seen a cheeseburger. America had begun to lose weight, and not in the healthy way. His brown bomber jack hung loosely off his shoulders in a way that made Arthur wonder if it was going to fall off.

England was quite worried about his former colony, his best friend and his secret crush. (that he wouldn't even admit to himself)

The green eyed nation watched as America glanced back at his laptop quickly. England rolled his eyes, was he watching TV? Surely he wouldn't be so bold as to watch TV while -Germany- was talking?

Well, he was America after all.

Taking an absent minded sip of tea, England looked around; all of the nations were a little worse for the wear. The only people unaffected were China, Taiwan, Japan, and Germany.

After another hour or so of talking, lunch was called and the nations began to disperse. England hurried over to America, trying to be discrete. On his way he caught a glance of Al's laptop, which was not streaming TV as he had earlier deduced.

It was streaming live NPR coverage of the Senate.

Arthur almost dropped his teacup. Hurrying to the kitchen Arthur set his cup in the sink, trying to stop the shaking in his hands. JUST WHAT THE BLOODY HELL WAS GOING ON? Alfred, responsibly watching his own government?

"The world really is ending then?" Arthur mumbled to himself as he set out to find Alfred, it was time to talk.

Arthur found Alfred in a deserted hallway. The blonde's head was facing away from him, and he was standing near one of the large, ornate windows that viewed the outer court. Through the window Arthur noticed that it was raining, not hard, just a slight drizzle against the Britain watched as the American let his forehead slam against the window pane, making a loud thwack noise and scattering raindrops off the other side of the glass. There he stood, his breathing fogging up the window pane. Arthur felt his heart break as he spotted the silent tears that had started making their way down the younger nations face. What in the world was going on? The green eyed man couldn't recall any special memos or updates about any situations in America, but surely his former colony had a reason for being so upset. Slowly Alfred rolled up his sleeve to look at something on his arm; Arthur couldn't get a clear viewpoint of what it was though.

"America?" Arthur said softly, not wanting to startle him.

America jumped and pulled his sleeve down, while simultaneously attempting to dry his eyes.

"What's up England?" The younger nation said, forcing another fake smile onto his face.

"America, what's wrong?" England sighed sadly.

"Wrong? Nothing's wrong. Everything is fine." The American said straightening up.

"Please don't lie to me," Arthur said moving closer.

America just looked away and pretended to be fascinated with something outside.

"Alfred, tell me what's going on!" The former British Empire said, harsher than he had intended.

"It's just some political stuff." Alfred said dismissively, turning away.

Arthur reached out and grabbed Alfred's wrist, then balked at the gasp of pain the other nation let out. Using reflexes he had left untouched for over a century, England pulled up America's sleeve before he could protest. Lines and lines of red, angry looking cuts ran across the younger nation's wrist all the way up to his elbow. England saw red.

"WHAT- IS- THIS?" England said pausing between each word, still not letting go of America's arm.

America just looked at the floor. After a few moments, he began to speak in an uncharacteristically quite voice, "They were all fighting. None of them would put aside their petty fucking differences. There was nothing I could do, so weak after the recession. Which, by the way, hit me harder than you or anyone else suspected. I thought maybe if they could see what they were doing to the whole country, to me, then they would set aside their personal issues and do what was be best for every American. I managed to get them to listen, and they reached an agreement, but the government was HOURS away from a SHUTDOWN. Do you know what that would have meant? Do you? Public Service employees and Military members wouldn't get paid. Because of the rescission, 70% of Americans are already living paycheck to paycheck! Millions would have been thrown into instant poverty. People in the Military would have had to continue working at home and overseas without pay, which would have destroyed moral and raised the suicide rate. I served with those men and women, I couldn't do that to them."

"Alfred…" Arthur murmured quietly.

America ignored him and continued on, "I'm always divided, I'm supposed to be the fucking UNITED States, and all I can do is watch while my own people destroy me from the inside. No one cares. I'm in so deep, and I can't even ask for help. I can't let the other countries see how weak I am. I'm supposed to be the hero! The leader! Everyone counts on me, but I don't have anyone to count on."

By this time, America had started crying again. England let go of his arm and pulled him into a hug, holding Alfred as his silent sobs shook them both.

"Alfred, I've always been here for you," England whispered as he rubbed America's back. It was true, even after the revolution, Arthur couldn't just abandon his rebellious colony.

"I know, but I-"

"But nothing. I will always be here for you. Always. No expectations." Arthur said hugging him tighter.

After a few minutes Arthur pulled back and stared into Alfred's sad blue eyes. Now is as good a time as any, he thought, trying not to psych himself out of doing what he was about to do. Stepping up on his toes, Arthur pressed his lips against Alfred's chapped lips. He felt the younger nation tense up in surprise, before he started kissing back. Tentatively at first but then with more force, more need. England's hands moved up to hold the back of Alfred's neck and the small of his back, pulling him as close as possible. Alfred tasted like coffee, cinnamon, and peppermint, a combination that normally would would have been revolting, but is was Alfred so it worked. Hands twisted in his hair, and Arthur felt Alfred's tongue trace his bottom lip. Letting out a muffled moan, Arthur opened his mouth and deepened the kiss.

Finally Arthur pulled away, looking into America's eyes he saw something he hadn't seen in recent years. When Arthur looked into Alfred's eyes, he saw happiness. An emotion he was certain was mirrored in his own eyes.

"I -ah- I-" America stuttered, turning a cute shade of pink.

"I love you," Arthur whispered leaning his head against Alfred's chest.

"I love you too," Alfred said wrapping his arms around Arthur.

"Always."


End file.
